Daring Greatly — Blog — Trevor Paul Johnson

by Amy Despain

I used to think I knew what charity was from what I was taught in church but I’m embarrassed to say that for me it included a “holier than thou” mindset. I felt like charity was loving and serving others but in more of a patronizing way, like, “I forgive you for being needy,” or, “I’ll love and serve you because Jesus would and I was taught to do what Jesus would do.” It was a thing on my checklist done rather insincerely. This past year I’ve experienced a significant amount of self-discovery and gone through a (sometimes painful) transformation. As part of that I’ve gained a new understanding of what I now believe is charity and I have my brother Trevor to thank.

I can't tell you how nice it is to exist in a space where being gay doesn't feel so overwhelming or hopeless. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, but now it's less, "There's only one way to be happy and being gay makes that impossible," and more,"I believe I can be gay and happy but I'm not exactly sure what that looks like." I've learned that when I love others in the way that God created me to love, I only grow closer to Him. I feel like my capacity to love myself and others unconditionally has grown exponentially since I started to accept that I am gay. And I can see goodness in others and myself with much more clarity, untainted by paradigmic lenses. No more boxes to check. No more playing charades.

But the Greatest of These is Charity

Healing