Paradigms
par·a·digm - a theory or a group of ideas about how something should be done, made, or thought about
Paradigms. They’re a thing. It’s hard to know you live in one until you have an experience that pulls you out of it. Then, before you fully grasp what has happened, you find yourself standing at a glass window looking in at yourself existing in a world that has shaped who you are and affected your decisions on a level much deeper than you realized, mostly unaware of what’s outside. Paradigms aren’t bad, but it’s good to know which one you exist in and how it fits in a world made up of thousands of paradigms different than yours.
I’m a Mormon. I was born Mormon, raised Mormon, baptized Mormon, I served a Mormon mission, and attended a Mormon university. Admittedly, I’ve taken pride in being raised outside of Utah (the Mormon capital of the world) where I was the only Mormon in my group of friends and learned to appreciate and love those who didn’t share my faith. Mormonism is my tribe - it’s a part of who I am. As much as I wanted to live the Mormon dream, being gay caused me to examine the tenets of my faith more closely and consider what they mean for me.
About two years ago I took a world religions course at BYU and, despite the fact that I was learning from a Mormon professor at a Mormon University, my eyes were opened to the many religious paradigms that exist in the world that are as real to those who live in them as the Mormon paradigm was to me. My professor introduced the concept of ‘holy envy’ and would marvel about the truths he had been able to discern from other religions. The sheer exposure to religious truths accepted by, in some cases, billions of people forced me outside of my tiny Mormon bubble into a much bigger world.
Just like Galileo discovered that the sun didn’t revolve around the earth, I discovered that truth didn’t revolve around Mormonism. In fact, I felt slightly embarrassed that I had lived the majority of my life convinced that a religion boasting 15 million members (and counting!) had a monopoly on truth. Truth can be found anywhere, in endless forms, and it resonates with each individual according to their paradigm.
A year after my world religions course at BYU I had the opportunity to study abroad in Jerusalem, arguably the most diverse religious melting pot in the world. I watched Orthodox Jews worship fervently at the Western Wall and devout Muslims praying towards Mecca from bus stops. I felt the weight of the countless prayers offered by followers of Christ near His empty tomb. Each time I took a step out of my religious paradigm and into another, I began to discern truths I had never known before. I realized that perhaps life isn’t about seeking the paradigm with the most truth, but rather discerning truth that transcends paradigms altogether.
One thing that I believe transcends paradigms is love. Love is full of understanding and acceptance. Love helps us allow others to be and let's us appreciate who they are rather than feeling threatened by their differences. Love helps us embrace and respect the complexity of each individual’s experience. Love heals us when we feel unworthy or broken or rejected. Love connects people across time and space, cultures and race. Love does not have paradigmic restrictions or exceptions. It is not bound by beliefs. Pure love pierces through paradigmic parameters and shows us the heart of each human being. It allows each person to carve their own path and trusts that each person's path can lead to happiness.
